To the Striving Woman

When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel proud of what you’ve accomplished instead of focusing on what still needs to be done? Take a moment now to actually think about all you’ve achieved this past year. I’ll wait.

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I’m curious what came up for you. Did you only name your tangible, external milestones? Getting that promotion, leasing that car, paying off that credit card…

Did you think about anything internal? Like learning how to spend a Friday night by yourself without crying anymore, or validating your own anger when you were catcalled at the grocery store without gaslighting yourself into thinking it was somehow warranted?

Do you have any idea how many wins you actually have in a day? Take another moment and think about this week. Slow it down and include the internal wins, too. I’ll wait.

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Being hard on yourself has undeniably worked. It’s gotten you this far, right? I wonder if there’s some hesitancy around acnowledging the small wins. I really wonder if you skipped that second pause altogether because the discomfort of commending yourself for something you see as trivial was too unbearable.

It’s as if there’s this fear that the moment you stop being hard on yourself, everything might just…fall apart. Like the part of you that is ambitious, determined, and victorious will abandon you the moment you acknowledge all the work it does.

The irony is that you’re probably longing to feel appreciated in your relationships. But do you appreciate you? I’m not dismissing the reality that other people in your life don’t see all that you do. But do you?

My intention is to challenge you to every so often pause and recognize all that you’ve done and continue to do as you strive for more. I know there’s no real end in sight. There will always be something else to work toward, something else to improve, something else to figure out.

I wonder if you could learn to enjoy the ride as much as the destination if you allowed yourself to feel some pride and gratitude along the way, instead of relying on pressure, fear, and self-criticism to get you there.

‍ ‍Isabella ♡